Are you feeling disconnected from your partner, but you want to find a way to get closer to them? If so, you are not alone, as many of those in serious relationships or marriages struggle to connect well with their partners. Therefore, you will feel that you are outgrowing your partner because of this issue. If you keep feeling that you are outgrowing your partner, then your partner will feel the same, and that is when you will begin to think that a separation, break-up, or even a divorce is the right thing to do. How can you stay with a partner that you no longer have feelings for, so you think?
Before jumping to that conclusion, here is a question for you. When was the last time you opened up about your desires and wishes to your partner? And when was the last time they opened up to you about theirs? Understandably, you would feel disconnected from your partner, so you don’t talk about those things since you are likely busy with the day-to-day stuff regarding work, kids, other family responsibilities, and expenses. You are tired. Even though those responsibilities will not go anywhere, you will want to work on finding ways to connect with your partner so you keep your relationship more robust.
Communication Is Always The Key
The number one way to build a deeper connection with your partner is to communicate with them, which does not involve conversations regarding your daily responsibilities. Instead, you have to talk about your desires, what you want, and your hopes and dreams. You also have to communicate anything that is bothering you. For example, if you don’t like conflict, you will hold in your grievances, which will cause you and your partner to feel disconnected because of dealing with resentments. Therefore, you need to express your feelings, good and bad, and you have to allow your partner to express their feelings towards you.
Ask Plenty Of Questions
When you want to connect with your partner more deeply, you will want to ask plenty of open-ended questions, and those are not questions that only require a simple yes or no. Instead, you will want to ask questions that need a more profound response. For example, after your partner gets home from work, you will not want to ask something like, “Did you get to work on the new project?”. Instead, you will want to reframe that and ask them, “So, how did it go with the new project?”.That way that allows them to tell you about their day.
Be Sure To Listen To Your Partner
When your partner needs to talk to you, listen to them. If you listen, and even if you cannot give advice, knowing that you are there to listen to what they are saying is enough to help deepen the connection. And they will need to listen to you too when you have to speak about something on your mind. If you are not listening to your partner, and they are not listening to you, that will create a disconnect. Sure, you may be tired after a day of dealing with the kids or other responsibilities, and your partner may also be exhausted. However, it does not expend any additional energy to listen to them. That is an essential skill you need to deepen your connection with your partner.
Always Empathize Without Judging
In addition to listening to what your partner needs, you will want to empathize with them if they come to you about a problem they had at work or with their parents. If you criticize them and tell them that they were wrong about being upset, that will push them away. However, if you disagree with why they are upset, you still need to empathize with them because their feelings are valid no matter what. But you can always be the devil’s advocate and express why that is the case. If they feel validated by you empathizing with them, and while you are the devil’s advocate, that can help them create a new perspective that can help calm their feelings.
For example, your partner comes home from work upset because their boss put in some new policies upsetting them. You need to listen to them, empathize with them, and gently tell them that perhaps their boss had to put in these new policies because other employees were not fulfilling their responsibilities, which is why the boss had to implement them. Your partner may know that deep down, but be sure to validate how they feel about it.
Make Communication A Priority
Whatever you do, do not put off any communication you need to have with your partner. If your partner needs to talk to you and needs you to listen, you must stop what you are doing and listen to them. Or, if that is not realistic in every scenario, then set aside time to have a deep conversation with your partner each day. Don’t get too caught up in your day that you are too exhausted to speak to them at night. It is essential to fit those conversations into your day.
Suppose you can effectively communicate with your partner, listen to them, empathize with them, and never judge them even if you want to offer new perspectives. In that case, you will have a much easier time connecting with your partner on a deeper level.
Unfortunately, not all relationships are salvageable. If you and your partner want entirely different things in life without compromises, you are better off not sticking to them. That will make you very unhappy, which will lower your vibration and mean you will attract negative things into your life.
However, more often than not, that is not the case. You can always find compromises with your partner, which means being open to doing new things with them. That is another reason that communication is essential. Therefore, the only way to create a deeper connection with your partner is to have open communication on all levels.
